Eclectic Muddlehood

It’s not that I don’t want a graduate degree or a fabulous career. I do. I’m not even sure what field of graduate study I might want to pursue or what kind of career I might want to enter into one of these days, but I know I want those things eventually. Just not right now. And it’s not that every day of my current life is filled with idyllic moments of sweetness and light. There’s plenty of mess and frustration and exhaustion– just take one look at my kitchen or my checkbook. But it’s the fact that I have come to view motherhood as a sacred calling, a spiritual path if you will. It’s the same as if I had chosen to enter a nunnery or monastery of sorts, albeit where the Mother Abbess is about three feet tall and occasionally pees on the kitchen floor and where vespers often include a rousing chorus of “Everybody Wants to Be a Cat” or some other equally entertaining ditty from whatever Disney movie she is currently obsessed with watching three times a day. However to me at least, this is holy ground none the less. And about to get holier in a few short weeks with the arrival of two more live-in Zen Masters to challenge me in ways I never imagined possible. As I lay curled up around my daughter, pregnant belly dancing into the night with four knees and elbows drawing circles on my skin from the inside, I can’t help but wonder what career could possible top this insane, yet joyous ride called motherhood. At that blissful moment, I find it quite easy to count my blessings as I get a brief glimpse of enlightenment. Grad school and a paycheck can wait.