Eclectic Muddlehood

Everybody knows the Buddha said Life is suffering.  These days he is practically a pop culture icon.  But as I was listening to a Zencast podcast titled “What Is Buddhism?” yesterday evening, awareness entered my being. I already perfectly understand what it is like to be fully awakened. My thoughts were blown over by this clear and simple, yet […]

It is a sad scene, often repeated over and over again in this country with a terribly messed up birth culture.  A mother learns she is pregnant with multiples.  Her thoughtless, institutionalized doctor fills her head and heart with crushing, fear inducing phrases- high risk, preterm labor, bed rest, preeclampsia, mandatory c-section, TTTS, long NICU […]

Part 1 available here
In a matter of hours the Master and Mistress will officially be 18 months old and my heart whispers forcefully that I can wait no longer.  The past reaches out and tugs frantically at me, not to harm me any further, but to grab tightly to my attention and force me to focus on what […]

My husband and I attended my tenth high school reunion last Saturday and, all in all, had a smashing good time. It was filled with the usual reunion cliches of course; the people who looked exactly the same, the people who looked better and the people who looked worse. There was the assortment of lawyers […]

It has been almost 19 weeks since their birth and although life improves weekly, there is still a great deal of healing that must take place. The edges of my scar have started aching in the morning after each grueling night of what a fellow twin mother refers to as rotisserie nursing. Staring in the […]

I was driving home from an incredibly difficult birth at one of the area’s busiest hospitals early on November morning when I felt an overwhelming, swirling sense of energy in my womb, right about at my sacral chakra. I could see the energy dance and spin in my mind’s eye, a brilliant orange. My doula […]

As I have begun to start truly processing the twins’ pregnancy, labor and birth, I recently re-discovered three poems I wrote in the days leading up to their birth. Re-reading them, I experience a wide array of emotions, both joyful and sorrowful and I recognize within them wisdom and hope that was not obviously apparent […]

Life is simply a series of rites of passage. There is the time preparing for them, the time spent enduring and completing them and the time processing them before beginning the cycle once again. What I never realized before was that there is something to be learned, not only after the completion of the rite, […]

I believe in the power of the waning moon, she who heralds times of greatest transformation through the dark passages from one state of being to the next. These precious opportunities to begin anew, changed forever from the edges of our souls to the depths of our hearts, yet still filled with the same essence […]

There are normally sane friends and family out there who for some strange reason are terrified that I am going to give birth to these babies and not tell them about it. Like I am going to hide these two new children from their closest relatives and not let anyone have any contact with them […]